Episode 1 - Welcome to Shift Your Shit With Sara

Episode Description

An introduction to the podcast - why did I start it, and who the heck am I anyway? I invite you to join me on the inaugural episode of Shift Your Shit With Sara.

Episode Transcription

Welcome to Shift Your Shit With Sara, the weekly podcast where I’ll explore both tried and true, as well as new and spiritual ways that you can make small changes that will have a big impact on your life. I’m your host, Sara Studerus.

Before we get started, today’s episode does contain profanity and references to suicide. Listener discretion is advised.

Welcome to Episode One of Shift Your Shit With Sara. Today we’ll be looking at - what’s this podcast all about? Why did I start it? And who the heck am I anyway?

So, let’s start with why did I start this podcast? Well, the last three years have meant an amazing transformation in my life - physically, emotionally, and spiritually. There have been so many phenomenal tools that have helped me on that journey and I want to share them with others so they can experience the shift of a transformation as well.

I want to build a community, a safe space, where people can come together and support one another through transformational change. A community that provides space to grow, tools for change, and support along the way. 

I’ll be exploring both the methods that helped me through my shift, as well as new and interesting ideas to try. No one’s journey requires a tool that is one-size-fits-all, so I want to arm your toolkits with plenty of approaches.

There are many times in my life, where I’ve looked to people who are in positions of power, whether it be my parents, police officers, health professionals, therapists, or even in my own relationships, where I looked to them with expectations of what I felt they should be, what I hoped they would be.

I thought that my parents would have all of their shit together, but when I look back, and I see now, that my mom was the same age that I am now, I can look at this from a different lens, a different perspective. I can realize that in that moment, perhaps of course as a child, I was looking to someone else to guide me, to help me make choices, to support me on my path, but what I learned instead was that I had to have my own back. 

 I struggled with anxiety and depression from a young age, and there were no tools at that time to help me cope.

I see now that I felt like I had to stuff all of my feelings down, I had to hide how I truly felt. I felt alone in the struggle, I felt alone in the darkness. 

And this is something that we see happening in our society over and over again, where people experience trauma. And I know that trauma is a lot different than what people think. Trauma could be not being supported by your family. Trauma could be feeling unloved and unwanted in your home. Trauma could be an emotionally abusive relationship, where you feel that your worth does not matter. Trauma could be loss, of a job, of a family member, or a friend, or even a loss of yourself.

I see so many people walking in the world, feeling lost, feeling alone, feeling stuck. I see now that so many of the patterns that I watched unfold in my parents’ life were then replicated in my own. As I walked into an abusive relationship after another, and another, and another, I found myself in these cycles of abuse, because that is what I knew.But this doesn’t have to be the way. 

There came a point in my life where I walked into a highly abusive relationship, where I was not safe, where I felt so stuck that I actually could not get out because of the abuse, he threatened to harm my friends and family. He had this control over me and my life that and I felt this was an impossible situation that I could not get out of.

And when I felt that there was no way out of this situation, that I was so stuck in this moment in time, in this relationship, I lost all hope, and in there, I attempted to take my own life.

I’d gotten to a place where I truly felt there was no other way out, there was no other option. I really believed that. I truly believed there was no one that could help me, let alone me help myself.  And for 20 hours, I laid alone, in that field, until I was finally found. Somewhat miraculously I was resuscitated, but I was in a coma for four days, on a ventilator. 

I remember clearly the moment that I really started to come to, I remember opening my eyes slowly, just seeing past my eyelashes, the ugly pattern of the curtains, and I knew where I was. I knew that this attempt to take my life had failed, and the first reaction was, 
How could they do this? How could this not work? How was this possible that I could be laying here breathing, not of my own decision, but by someone else deciding for me. 

But then I heard all the facts and I realized that there’s no way I should’ve been here, waking up to these ugly curtains in this hospital, there’s no way that I shouldn’t have major brain or organ damage, and in this I realized that I must be here for a reason, and I wasn’t sure what that reason was, but I was determined to find out why. Why was I spared? Why was I here, living and breathing? 

I found myself in extreme physical pain, I found myself with injuries, and infections, and surgeries that had me learning to walk over, and over again. I found myself in a place where I struggled, financially, emotionally, physically. People were there to try and help fix the physical pain, to give me the surgery, to give me the walker, to help me manage the bodily pain I felt, but when I tried to ask for support from an emotional space, the emotional pain, I was ignored, I was pushed aside, I was not able to receive the help that I truly was needing.

I see so many people now who are manifesting physical symptoms of an emotional pain. I see so many people who have felt stuck, in their life, in relationships, in work, who believe that there’s no way out, but that are hoping that someone could hear their cries, or pleas for help and guide them to a new place. Some are looking to people in positions of power to give them the answers, to guide them out, but what I know is from that point on in my life, I chose me. I took my power back. I started to have a bigger voice, I advocated for the things I needed. I allowed myself to listen to what I needed in my life. I changed everything, yes perhaps it felt like I needed to change it because of my abusive ex, but I changed it for me.

I changed cities, I moved into a new apartment, I let everything go that reminded me of my old life. I started to lean into and take all kinds of mental health programs, I read self-help books, I tried every tip and trick that people would offer for me to be able to start to get out of the hole that I felt I had dug myself into.

And little by little, one choice at a time, one change at a time, I started to feel more hope. I started to shift the shit. I started to shift the feeling and perspective that there was no way out. And as I advocated for myself, as I spoke up, I started to see that the stuckness I felt was shifting.

I remember being introduced to a tool, called EFT. I tried it, on an app, and it seemed interesting, it started to feel beautiful in my life again, there started to be colour, there started to be connections, new community, new people entering my life. And then I found myself stumbling across an ad for an EFT experience, 21 days of tapping, and after only three days, I didn’t feel stuck anymore. I started to feel the shift happening, where I didn’t feel stuck in conversations, stuck in emotions, stuck in my own head, replaying situations over, and over, and over. And instead, I started to feel free. 

At that point I knew this was something that I wanted to share with the world - more people needed to know about this tool!

I am so grateful that I have continued to show up for myself, because I know that I was at the lowest point possible, and I know that there are so many out there that feel alone, who are alone, who feel that there is no way out, and who are desperately seeking some element of control in a life that feels out of control. I see you. I’m here for you. This is the work I am called to do. I am here to, yes, perhaps trigger you somewhat with my story, with my energy, with my advocating for me, and for you, but I don’t see that trigger as a negative, I see triggers now as an opportunity to look at something that is no longer, or has never been, aligned with who we are. A trigger is an opportunity to look at ourselves deeper, and ask ourselves if this is what we truly want. A trigger is an invitation to change, and this is my invitation for each of you, because I couldn’t have possibly imagined in that moment three years ago, where I was so deep in the feelings of stuckness that I would be living this life today, where I’m almost out of debt, where I’m able to create a living supporting other people, where I’m able to give back to organizations that I care about, related to domestic violence and mental health, where I’m able to advocate not just for myself, but for others, where I’m in a beautiful, loving relationship that is nothing like those that were sprinkled throughout my life. And I know this is because I said yes to shifting the shit. I said yes to getting unstuck. I said yes to figuring out why I’m actually here. And I said yes to change, and creating massive change for myself, because I know that there is only one person that I need to look to, and place in a position of power in my life now, and that person is me.

And now, I know I want more - Now I know that I can ask for more, I can ask for more love, I can ask for more help, I can ask for more money, I can ask for more of all of the things that I need. 

What is your more? What do you need to receive more of? 

I see so many people that want another perspective, that want to make a shift. Let’s shift the perspective that you believe that there’s no way out, let’s shift the perspective that someone else needs to come save you, let’s shift the perspective that you’re not in control of your own life, because you are.

This is my invitation to you to shift your shit.

Next week, we’ll be looking at EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) and what it is, as this is the first tool that we’ll be digging into. On each week’s episode, watch for our tiny takeaways that give you small changes that you can try to make massive change in your life.

Thank you so much for joining me today, If you enjoyed today’s episode, please feel free to subscribe, or follow, in your favourite podcast player so you don’t miss any future episodes. Thanks so much, and we’ll see you again next week.